Where were you?
by firestorm557
Summary: this is my AU version of what i think the confrontation betweem Sam and his father should be like in the upcoming episode Shadow. rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story is loosely based on the previews for the upcoming episode "Shadow". I really think that Sam has a lot of stuff that he needs to get off his chest, and meeting up with his father during the hunt is the perfect opportunity for him to vent about it. So this is def. my AU version of what that confrontation would be like. The rating is for later chapters. I know that this starts out a little slow, but trust me it def. picks up in a chapter or two. So READ! REVIEW! Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: don't own the Winchester boys yet, but believe me its not for lack of trying.**  
**

**Where were you?**

Chapter 1:

"Dad?" Sam stood rooted in the doorway.

"Hi boys." There he stood. John Winchester. The man that they had been looking for for months. Sam slowly walked towards him, almost as if he was afraid that if he moved too fast, their father would disappear. He kept walking until he was standing right in front of his father. John was just standing there, with a hint of a smile on his face. Sam just stood there, staring.

And then- he hit him. He landed a solid right hook with enough force to send John stumbling against the wall. And without another word, Sam turned around and stormed out of the room, pushing Dean out of his way.

Dean was shocked, to say the least. He knew that Sam harbored ill-feelings towards their father. Hell, Sam didn't even try to hide that fact. But he never expected Sam to lash out at him physically. Words were Sam's thing, action was Dean's. So when Sam landed a very painful looking right hook, Dean was speechless. Sam pushing past him brought him out of his daze, and he went to his father's side.

"You alright?" John was already starting to get a very nasty bruise on his left side. Dean rummaged around in their pack and cracked open and ice pack.

"I'm fine. Kid took me by surprise. Didn't expect to have to protect myself from Sammy." John accepted the ice and put it against his face.

_Its Sam _Dean thought instantly. He moved to the front door.

"I'll go and get him." Pausing at the door, Dean turned back to his father. "You will be here when we get back, right?"

John nodded. "I'll be here. I need you boys to help me."

Dean nodded and exited the room to find one pissed off little brother.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: thanks for reviewing! this story is going to be in 6 parts. most of the chapters are already written, and most of them are quick easy reads, but a few really have some meat to them! i think i kind of took some liberties with Sam and his psychic powers in this and all the chapters that follow, but bare with me, it adds to the drama! should be putting up at least one chapter a day, but keep reading and reviewing! it keeps me happy and inspired! Happy reading!

Disclaimer: still don't own squat...

**Where were you?**

Chapter 2:

_When did it start raining?_ Dean didn't know. He walked through the parking lot, keys in his hand, expecting to have to drive around the town in search of his wayward brother. What he wasn't expecting was to see him standing in the middle of the clearing that was next to the motel. Dean made his way over to his brother. Sam's hands were clenched by his sides.

"Sam?" As Dean got closer, he could see several shapes floating beside Sam. _What the hell?_ Finally close enough to see Sam clearly through the rain, he saw that the shapes were really- rocks? "Sam, what's going on?"

"Go away Dean." His voice was low, almost a growl.

"No can do bro. I'm gonna take you back inside so that you can apologize for that stunt you just pulled, and then the three of us are going to have a talk."

"Apologize?" A decent sized tock went whizzing through the air about five feet to the left of Dean. "After everything that that man has put us through over the past few months, you want me to apologize?" Several more rocks had gathered the fray and were whizzing through the air in every direction.

"Damn straight I want you to apologize. He is our father for Christ's sake Sam. He deserves some respect."

"That man may deserve a lot of things, Dean, but my respect is not one of them." But Sam lifted his head and looked at Dean. The rocks that had been hovering around him fell to the ground. Dean started to connect the dots. He remembered what Sam had told him after their encounter with Max. He had been able to move the cabinet away from the door because he was emotional, adrenalin was pumping through him. _And if anything got Sam riled up, it was their father._ Dean was suddenly very glad that they had not been sitting in the Impala when Sam decided to perform his little psychic show. Psychic powers and his baby really didn't mix.

"Come back inside Sam." Dean expected an argument, and was surprised when Sam sighed and started walking towards the motel.

"I'm not apologizing to him Dean.

"Damn it Sam!" Dean sighed, knowing that Sam would not budge on this issue, no matter how hard he pushed him. "At least promise not to hit him again, alright?"

"I'll try." And Dean knew that that was the best that he was going to get out of Sam. They headed back to the room, and the confrontation that they had been waiting for for many months.

Stay tuned sports fans...

see that little button that says review? well click on it already, won't you? ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Where were you?**

Chapter 3:

True to his word, John Winchester was still in the motel room when they returned. Dean threw Sam some dry clothes and the two changed into something warm before they sat down and found out what their father wanted from them. Dean went over to check on their father, gently prodding his cheek bone to see if anything was broken. Luckily, he didn't find anything. Sam just stood leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, and eyes fiery.

"Doesn't feel like anything's broken Dad." Dean handed him the bottle of Tylenol and went and sat on one of the beds. Staring at his hands, he cleared his throat. "So dad, its, uh, it's been a while."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

Sam snorted and shook his head.

"Sammy." Dean warned

"What are you doing here?" Sam demanded.

"I think I've found it. And it's powerful, more powerful than I thought. I can't beat it alone. I need your help."

Dean knew that those four words would set Sam off, and he wasn't disappointed.

"Excuse me? You need our help?" He shook his head, and gave and almost insane sounding laugh. "I can't believe you. I can _not_ believe you! You actually have the audacity to come here and ask for out help?"

"Sam, I'm sorry about-"

"Don't give me that bullshit Dad! You're not sorry about the past few months, and you and I both know it! If you were really sorry about any of it then you would have done something about it instead of sending us damn coordinates!"

Dean could see several items around the room start to shake. Sam was pissed off, but he hadn't even begun to hit his stride yet. Sam had a lot to get off his chest, and Dean knew that trying to stop him now would be like trying to hold back a tidal wave with bare hands- impossible. Besides, words were Sam's thing.

And then Sam really let loose his tirade.


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: Wow! thanks for all of the reviews! i'm glad that you all like it! sorry about the short chapters but it really did just come to me in spurts. but to appease all of you famished fanfic readers, i will post chapters 4 and 5 at the same time, cause they are both relativley short. alright with that said, here are a few warnings, nothing major but they have to be said: MAJOR Sam angst up ahead. that boy can vent like you have no idea. there is some swearing, so be warned. oh, and here be some minor spoilers for just about every episode that has aired so far, so if you havn't seen them and don't want a part of them to be ruined then you are either shit out of luck or just stop reading. but when i say that most of them are really minor, i really mean it. so if i were you i would just take my chances. thanks for reading! now enjoy!

Disclaimer: if i owned the Winchester boys, do you really think that they would still be driving around the country in that car instead of being home in bed with me? i think not. ;) but they are not mine, and so they ride...

**Where were you?**

Chapter 4:

Sam had been waiting a long time to get all of this off his chest. When neither Dean nor his father made a move to speak, he continued, his rage barley contained.

"Do you even know what our lives have been like for the past few months? What we've been going through? You don't have a clue! Where the hell have you been? Where were you when the thing that killed mom took the woman that I loved away from me? Where were you when we went back to your old house? Dean called you and _begged_, Dad, begged you to come and help us. Did you know that we saw mom? That she was the one who saved us? Where were you when I tried to kill my brother because some piece of shit spirit was manipulating my emotions? Did you know that Dean has officially been labeled as a murderer? No? He was taken by a shape-shifter who killed innocent people while he was walking around with Dean's face, and he came about his close to making me his next victim. Did you know that Dean is also officially dead? I have his fucking death certificate stuck in that god-forsaken journal of yours! Would you have even come or were you just too busy to come to your own son's funeral? Where were you when we almost died facing Bloody Mary? Or the Wendigo? Where the fuck were you when Dean's heart gave out, huh, and he was only given _weeks_ to live? I almost lost him twice that week, Dad, once because of his heart and the other because of some psycho bitch who decided that she was going to play God. Know what we got from you? Nothing! Not even a fucking phone call to see how Dean was doing. What if I hadn't found Roy, huh? Would you have even cared? Would you have come? Jesus Christ Dad! I told you Dean was _dying_ and that doesn't even warrant a phone call? Did you know that I have visions Dad? That I see people die horrific deaths in my sleep and wake up screaming, only to find out that what I thought was only a nightmare was real and there's no way for us to help them all? And that I can move things with my mind? No, because you weren't there! For any of it! And now you come back into your lives, and want us to drop what we're doing and go with you, because now _you_ need _us_! What, we're only worthy of your attention when you want to give it? Why now, Dad? Why is it okay for us to help you now when you specifically told me last time that you did not want or need our help, that it was too dangerous?"

"Sam," John started, his voice soft but steady, "I am your father. I was just trying to keep you boys safe-"

"Don't you dare pull the father card on me!" Sam yelled, and the lamp went flying across the room and smashed against the wall.

Ah! the craziness! read on, if you can handle it...

But before you go on to chapter 5, please let me know what you think of this one first! PLEASE REVIEW! i want to know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: okay so here it is, as promised, chapter 5. again this has MAJOR Sam angst, and i think i probably took some liberties with the events of their childhood, but you know, artistic lisense and all that. so i hope you guys enjoy and review! cause i love to hear what you guys think of the story. the reviews keep me motivated to keep writting, not to mention put a ridiculous looking grin on my face! so please, go ahead and make me look goofy!

Disclaimer: i'm getting really tired of writting that i don't own anything. i think that it's giving me a complex...

**Where were you?**

Chapter 5:

Sam was angry. No, Sam was beyond angry. He was furious. Dean couldn't remember ever seeing Sam like this, not even when Ellicott was messing with his emotions, not even when he and Dad had their falling out when Sam left for college. Dean had jumped to his feet when the lamp had gone flying past his head, and his eyes were glued to Sam as he continued.

"You were never a father! Dean was more of a father to me than you ever were! Instead of telling me bedtime stories you told me how to kill the things that lived in my closet! Instead of teaching me how to play soccer, you taught me how to identify different types of weapons! Shit Dad! By the time I was 12 I knew how to hunt, fight, and kill better than some of your old Marine buddies! What did you ever do for me? What did you ever do besides move us around from place to place, taking us away from what few friends we had been able to make? You weren't even able to always put food on the table! If you weren't pissing the money away on booze, then you were buying more ammunition or a new set of knives or, or something! Do you know how many lawns we had to mow or how many driveways we had to shovel just so that we wouldn't have to eat peanut butter and jelly every night?"

A chair went crashing against the wall. Dean stared at Sam in shock. Of course, he and Sam had talked about their childhood, if you could call it that, and yeah, Dean thought that it sucked some of the time, but Sam had never expressed the kind of anger that he was expressing now. Dean spared a glance over at their father. His expression was neutral, impossible to read in true Winchester fashion, but he was several shades paler than he had been at the beginning of this lovely conversation, and after listening to everything that Sam had been saying, Dean couldn't really seem to bring himself to care that much that the things Sam was saying were hurting their father. The fact of the matter was, they were true.

"I didn't learn any of the things that a son should learn from a father from you. For as long as I can remember, it's been Dean taking care of me, not you! Dean's the one that always made sure that I had a lunch packed and ready for school. Dean's the one who comforted me after I woke up screaming after having a nightmare. Dean showed me how to build my first snowman, how to ride my first bike. Dean always made sure that I had a warm coat in the winter, even if he had to give me his cause we didn't have any money left to buy a new one. Dean taught me how to drive. I was Dean I went to if I had girl problems. And it was Dean that picked me up and patched me up when I got injured on a hunt! You have done nothing but ruin our childhood and berate me for wanting a life outside of hunting. So tell me, Dad. Give me one good reason why we should be there for you, now."

Dean had to jump out of the way as the small desk slid across the floor and came within inches of pinning their father to the wall. John didn't even flinch. He looked first at Dean, then his gaze returned to Sam. The pause that followed was long and tension-ridden. And then at last, he spoke.

oooh, the suspense! oh that wicked, wicked firstorm! stay tuned, the last chapter will be up tomorrow, i swear on the Winchester boys!

but i won't put it up unless you REVIEW! cause yes i really can be that evil when i want to be! so click on the little review button and let me know what you think about the story, or what you think is going to happen, or you knw, just to say hi! its all good!


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: wow guys i'm really sorry about not updating for 2 days. the weekend just kind of got away from me, you know? well anyways, here it is. chapter 6. the final chapter in this story. and just to let you know, if there is interest, i am thinking about doing a sequel to this, about what happens to the brothers winchester after the battle with the ever present "thing" that killed their mother. but that story is still very much in the works, and not nearly ready to be written yet. but let me know if you see this story continueing in a possible sequel. and i want to thank everybody who took the time to read this story and review. it really means a lot to me. thanks for sticking with it! so now, read, review, and enjoy the final enstalment of Where were you?

Disclaimer: i still do not own them, but if wishes were horses...

**Where were you?**

Chapter 6:

"You want to hate me Sam? That's fine. Hell, I even understand. I have not been the father to either of you boys that you deserved. And if you don't want to do this for me, fine. Then do it for Dean. Give him the kind of closure he deserves. Do it for yourself. Do it for your mother, for your girlfriend. Bring this section of your life to a close. Get the revenge you've been looking for since your girlfriend was murdered. Alleviate the fear that you feel every time you wake up, afraid that you will see someone else you care about, like your brother, pinned to the ceiling, dying. Do this so that this thing can't hurt anybody ever again. I am not asking you to do this for me. I am asking you to do this because I am not strong enough to kill this thing by myself."

The silence in the room was deafening. Nobody said a word. Sam and John just stared each other down. Dean noticed that the furniture had stopped flying around the room. Sam broke eye contact first, and looked at Dean. As Dean locked eyes with his brother, he tried to convey what he was thinking simply through the look. Dean wanted to go with their father, to kill the thing that had killed his mother. He had been training for this his entire life. But if Sam decided to turn his back on their father, like John had done to them so many times before over these last few months, then Dean didn't think that he would have the heart to go off with John and leave Sammy all alone to face his demons, both physical and emotional. Because everything that Sam had said to their father had been true. He did abandon them. He never came when they needed him. For all intents and purposes, it seemed that John Winchester did not care about the two of them until he needed them to help him with something. But Dean still loved him, and still remembered, if only vaguely what their life had been like before mom was killed, and hoped that someday their father would be able to go back to the man that he once was. And if doing this hunt with him was a step in that direction, than Dean was willing to go. But Dean was going after this thing with his whole family or not at all. That was non-negotiable. Sam again broke eye contact and turned back to look at his father. When he spoke, his voice was soft and low, and Dean found that hearing Sam like this was more frightening than listening to him yelling at their father.

"You told me once that if I waked out the door to not bother returning, because I would no longer be welcome as a member of your family. Well this is it. After we do this, we are finished, you and I. I want nothing to do with you. I am doing this for Dean. And for Jess. And for Mom. Not for you. You stopped being an important figure in my life a long time ago."

Dean looked over at their father. John showed no emotion what so ever. Dean wondered if he even cared about what Sam had just said, and found that he wouldn't be at all surprised if Sam's statement hadn't really fazed him at all.

"Alright Sam. Thank you." was all he said.

"Don't thank me, I told you I'm not doing this for you." He walked over to where their bags lay, abandoned on the ground, and picked his up. He removed the shotgun that he carried there, checked that it was loaded, and cocked it. He lifted it up and brought it to rest on his right shoulder, his bag slung across he left. He turned to face Dean and his father, his face hard and cold.

"Let's get going. We've got work to do."

The End...

so now, please review! tell me what you think!


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